This week is World Autism Awareness Week and Ruth Howard, a PhD student at Buckinghamshire New University, has put together some top tips for parents of autistic children based on her twenty years of experience working in the field, being a mother to an autistic son, and successful workshops run as part of her current studies.

Ruth’s PhD challenges the concept of autism and the limitations to children’s development that the current understanding can lead to. Her Autistic Development Theory suggests that the core difference in autism is processing sensory information. This difference leads to development delays and behaviours that are associated with autism. However, she says these can be supported and developed if the child is given an appropriate environment. Ruth’s Flourishing Futures workshops during her PhD have been tailored to the needs of parents, on strategies, anxiety management, and reducing stress to help their autistic children achieve their development potential using strengths-based parenting. You can read Ruth’s tips below:

1. Parents can face real challenges and worries that can affect their own well-being. Try to take some time every day to focus on you, maybe listen to some joyful music, relax in the bath, do something that brings you positive emotions. Self-care is not indulgence, it is essential for you to be able to support and care for your child.
2. Parents and autistic children can be stressed and or anxious. An easy way to de-escalate stress is to practice deep, controlled breathing. Close your eyes and breath in as deeply as you can, deeply so your tummy expands. hold for a moment and breath out slowly. Within a short space of time, you should begin to feel more relaxed. The more this is practiced with the child, the more likely the child will be able to use it during overwhelming moments. There is science behind this, but I won’t bore you!
3. Anxiety can worsen as the child gets older. Recognise and talk about them, give suggestions to manage them. It is helpful to reinforce that you are confident that with tools (like deep breathing) the child will be OK.
4. Some parents of autistic children say they don’t know what to expect in the future. No parent knows what to expect of their child in the future, parents think life is mapped out. Think of your child’s special interest – what could that lead to in adult life? Think big and creatively, imagine a future for your child where his special interests and talents lead to an amazing life.
5. Autistic children can learn quickly if sensory stimuli and anxiety is decreased. Autistic development theory proposes there is one core difference – better sensory processing. This leads to greater abilities, but can disrupt development of social and communication skills and attention. This can also lead to distressing experiences and subsequent anxieties. In the right environment the child can learn these skills.
6. Autistic children can be underexposed to the language of emotions. The cards with happy, sad, angry are the big ones. If children do not have a way to describe their emotions, they will use the big labels and big reactions. Try to express your own emotions, so the child is exposed to the language, and is being taught that we and they, have a range of emotions and can feel more than one at a time. Positive emotions are good for us, things like music, humour, cartoons to evoke positive emotions for yourself and your child and can increase well-being.
7. Your child’s special interests are a monumental gift that have many benefits:
   • They can bring lovely emotions and help turn off an overwhelming world.
   • They can help motivate the child to attempt something that is challenging or new. For example, the child likes dogs and hates holding a pencil, so pictures of dogs could help motivate the child to try colouring in.
   • They can be explored and expanded to find the older child’s niche and future career.

   Special interests are a fantastic opportunity to nurture for well-being now and a good life in the future.

8. Focus on developing living skills as early as possible. If your little person is going to be the next Steve Backshaw, being able to make a cup of tea is highly advantageous whilst perched on the side of a hill in the rainforest.
9. None of us want to spend all our efforts on the stuff that we find difficult. When you hear that your child can’t do something, try to remember that he can’t do it yet, not that it will never happen. Try to follow the 80/20 rule. Focus 80% of time and attention on supporting your child’s strengths, and only 20% on what is challenging.
10. The final and most important. Have great expectations. Expectations are everything, adults and children respond to greater expectations with greater outcomes.

Ruth recently spoke about her PhD and advice for parents on BBC Radio Leicester, which you can listen to from 1:45:40 here.

Ruth will speak more about her PhD and experiences of Flourishing Futures at the Autism Journey To Success conference, being hosted by Buckinghamshire New University on 21 April. More information and free tickets are available here.

The National Autistic Society offers help and support for autistic people and their families on a variety of topics. Please visit www.autism.org.uk for more information.